Sunday, November 8, 2015

Washington State

Over the past year or so, I have posted a lot about the state of Washington. If you read all the posts and look at all the pictures, you might get a sense that it is beautiful and fun, full of nature and wonder. 

Not pictured: The blood sweat and tears required to make this look good.

Not pictured: The 235,854 other photographers trying to capture that one moment of pretty

This one is probably a whole other state or something, like Florida.

Well, you would be wrong.

It is hard work, and a testament to my own personal literary and photographic genius, making this place look good. The truth is, it usually looks like this.

See anything? Nope. Because it is foggy and rainy and miserable for all but a few days each year. This is why there is a coffee stand every fifty feet or so and a micro brewery serving up craft beer every other fifty. This is the only true way to combat the Seasonal Affective Disorder that comes with the winter and the general depression that comes from knowing you have made a poor life decision and ended up in Washington.

Totally stole this from Pintrest

So, now you have everyone wandering around hyper caffeinated and inebriated and probably lost in the dense fog. Oh yeah, and did I mention armed? They have to be armed because of the bears. There are bears in Washington...real live bears. That's not something you have to worry about in Texas. And somebody must have misread the Constitution (probably that craft beer) and decided they had a right to arm bears. So, those mothers are packing. I think they're drunk too. I'm telling you...this place is downright nasty.

Artist's representation.

Of course there aren't any pictures, would you point a shiny object at an armed drunken bear?

And did I mention the volcanoes? Yeah, those things'll kill ya. It may be the craft beer or legal weed talking, but some days it rains shards of volcanic glass and venomous snakes.

See!  A volcano sitting there looking all ominous and deadly and stuff.

Another artist's rendering.  Who would go outside in such conditions!?!

Seriously, stay away. There's nothing good here.


  1. We live in Ketchikan, where your rainiest month is still less than our driest month. I love it here. The sun still comes out, and when it does, it trumps any place on earth for us. Having a boat helps, too.

  2. No doubt. Ketchikan was nice. We stopped by there when we were on the cruise ship. Hope all finds you well.