I'm sorry, I just can't do that.
As a writer you play with language in an attempt to more accurately communicate an idea of feeling. So, mentally I have been trying to explain why it is that I am really rather happy that I am not going back to the cruise ship life, even if that life could have taken me to fabulous places to see really cool things.
Now, we all saw the mess with the mountain metaphor from a few posts ago, so we can tell I still have some work so to. Let's try this:
Once you have tasted freedom, it is really hard to go back into captivity.
I had designed my life for as much freedom as I could shoehorn into it at my income level. We had a choice of where we lived, what we ate, where we went, what we saw and on and on. Then, on the cruise ship, it is almost like living back with your parents. They were in charge of what I wore, where I went, where, when and to some degree what I ate. I wasn't allowed to go certain places and talk to certain people. Every time we went to a port I had a sharp curfew and it was usually way earlier than I wanted.
Were I younger, I don't think I would feel it as acutely. I also think having a family of four on board added quite a bit of pressure. There were also financial issues that wouldn't have been as bad as a single person, but at the core, I wanted my freedom back.
And now I have it. To a much greater degree anyway.
So, it was good, it was interesting and I am glad we did it. But, I'm not sad it's over.
Let's move on shall we.