Tuesday, March 1, 2016

My Greatest Accomplishment

I was going to say belching The Star Spangled Banner, but then I realized I have never done that.

I mean, C'mon, who has the time for that?

Instead, I will say that my greatest accomplishment is my relationship with my wife. And yes, it is an accomplishment.  A relationship like this doesn't just happen. It takes thought, communication (tons of communication), sacrifice, compromise, and commitment. It doesn't happen to you, you do it. Or, at least, try.

You see, I had a conversation with a writer friend of mine, about her book. Hers is a love story.

Through our hypothetical conversation she asked if I would still defend my wife if I found out she was a serial killer. I get her point, but I think she missed mine.


Serial killer?  Who has time for that? 

We spend ninety five percent of our time together unless I am working. And when I am at work, she has the kids. I'm pretty sure Michael would tell me if mommy was trolling the waterfront for victims instead of going to hot yoga. And I know Max would. There is just no way.

She said this was a cop out to a mental exercise. And I replied it wasn't.  It proved the point I was trying to make. 

We are so attached, so involved in each other, and so committed to the idea that our relationship that there is no way she could possibly be a serial killer without me being complicit too.  It is absurd.

And this isn't just me.  She works as hard at it, if not harder.  We understand that everything we do builds off of the strength of the bond between us. Without that, no adventure is possible.

So we work at it.

We strive to keep common interests with each other.  Sometimes it is supporting their natural interest, and sometimes it is trying to germinate the interest in them. But always with consideration for the other.

We always communicate. That is so important.  We agreed early on to tell each other everything. EVERYTHING. The corollary is that neither of us can freak out about anything the other says.  No freak outs.  Instead, we do our best to attempt to understand where they are coming from and give them the benefit that they are coming from a good place.  And mostly, that works.  When it doesn't we just chalk it up to living with an interesting weirdo and that's just part of life's rich pageant. 

It is work, but it isn't effort spent.  It is effort invested. And the long term rewards are pretty great in my humble opinion.

So, of everything I've ever done, that is what I am most proud of.

Might work on that Star Spangled Banner thing though, if I get some free time.