6/4/12

I have some sort of throat infection today and not feeling to great.  That's life.  So I didn't get a workout in.  I did get some much needed stuff done around here though.  Tanks got emptied and flushed.  I called Open Range and the 'local' dealer in Ventura and scheduled for IRV to be taken in to get some things fixed prior to the warranty expiring.  We have some reasonably significant bubbling on the roof and a frayed slid out cable that need attention plus a few other things.  Did some research on a computer to replace the one that recently died.  The laptop will get us through, but isn't good enough with the photos for me to be comfortable and doesn't work as a multimedia center either.  So there.  Any excuse to spend more money.

OK, the last post about my less than stellar run got me thinking.  Well, a call from my Dad after the fact got me thinking.  That thought bled over into today.  One of the things that Sarah doesn't understand about why I sit on the computer as much as I do is my strong desire to acquire knowledge.  Now, don't get me wrong, Sarah is very smart and can/does acquire a ton of knowledge her own bad self.  What I am talking about also extends out into the books I read.  I love to acquire knowledge for the sake of knowing it.  Sarah is much more practical.  She wants to know how to do what she needs to know how to do.  The other stuff, while interesting, is just getting in the way of the other things she has to do.

I figured out a way, I think, to have her understand.  This acquisition of knowledge is how I plan.  See, I see her planning.  She figures out what needs to get done and plans on how to do it.  I gather as much knowledge about everything I can constantly so I can feel prepared for whatever happens.  She will logically plan out what she expects to happen, including likely eventualities, and then prepare for that.  It can be frustrating at times when one of us just doesn't get what or why the other is so worked up about something, but we are just preparing for something in the best way we determine.  Luckily we are both pretty accepting of what we don't understand because we trust the other to be doing what is best.  Works out nice that way.

How does all this relate to my previous post about mu run?  Glad I asked!

My father called and started talking about how what I wrote related to something about which he has a large body of knowledge.  MBTI which is, I believe, Meyers Briggs Type Indicator.  This is something of a fairly sophisticated personality test.  It grades on four different traits along a spectrum.  You fall somewhere in between two opposites on a scale.  The results of this test can suggest to you much information about how you take in and process information.  He noted that what might be difficult for me, and result in ego depletion, could be very different for someone who rates at a different place on one or more of those traits.  Makes sense right?  What is easy for me, might not be for you.  Even when it comes to what you are thinking about and what you notice.

All this draws to the conclusion that it is important to be self aware and know what and who you are.  This information will help you in all aspects of your life.  I'm not sure how you go about taking the MBTI test if your Dad isn't qualified to administer it or if they don't do it for you where you work.  Maybe I will remember to ask him next time I talk to him. 

I think Shakespeare summed it up more succinctly, "Remember this, above all else, to thine own self be true."  I am actually paraphrasing.  If you are true to yourself especially about yourself then you will know more about yourself.  Which is very helpful.  He may have said it better, but it's my blog and he's dead.  So there.

I want to do something a little different today.  I want to talk about change.  Those who know me may be surprised that I argue for a step wise approach.  People might tell you that I am the type that jumps off a building saying I'll figure out the landing on the way down.  It may appear that way, but it isn't.  During this post I will be referencing an article from the website You Are Not So Smart.  I love the site as it helps me think better.  I will provide a link here and at the end if you want to read it.


Link

The article in question talks about human will as a finite resource.  You can use it all up and not be able to muster enough will power to resist eating that chocolate cake, having that drink, smoking that cigarette or getting to that workout.  It also talks about the concept that your will power is like a muscle in that it can be improved.  This is fabulous.  This research is suggestive that simply making decisions can lead to manifest physical changes for you.  Now, some people find this obvious.

OK...interruption.  You have to deal with these sometimes when you are on this particular crazy train.   

I sat down with a great idea to write this blog post.  I got interrupted and we went about our day.  We got back from errands and I went to go run.  I started off with this great plan.  I was going to run for a mile or so then drop and do push ups.  Then after another mile or so I was going to do sit ups or lunges or something.  It was a pretty vague plan at best.  Then I actually went out.  I was constantly mentally battling myself.  Should I stop now and do them?  Should I do push ups?  Should I do pull up on that farm truck?  What if I break it?  Maybe that street sign?  Probably cut my hands.  There was a constant conflict in my head.

Now I can normally run 3-4 miles without too much difficulty.  This time I stopped at 2.74 miles and was just exhausted.  Physically I was having a problem continuing.

Now, for a moment, back to our regularly scheduled blog.  I had exhausted my will.  Trying to decide what to do and when to do it.  Ego depletion.  I am willing to bet you that, had a course been set with a push up station and a jumping jack station or whatever, I would have fared much better.  The act of deciding is an energy depleting stage of the change process.  Managing that is important to the change process.

So start small, with decisions.  I will use quitting smoking as another example.  Most people try to quit several times before they are successful.  I think this is because you have to make the decision a firm decision.  What kills you isn't the withdrawl.  It is the constant mental battle to stick to the decision.  Once your mind is set, the rest is much easier.  I think it takes several times trying to quit just to get the idea firmly placed in your mind that you want to quit.  Once you stop struggling with the idea of "Am I really going to do this?"  Life gets much easier.

So the decision.  Practice it.  Just like a muscle, you must exercise.  There is a reason it is called exercising your authority or an exercise in will power.  And remember, sometimes doing nothing is a positive action.  NOT smoking.  NOT eating that slice of cake.  Practice exercising your will.  It will help lead you to the positive change you want. 

Now back to today's run. 

I walked f or fifty yards or so and then dropped to do 20 push ups.  I figured this was apparently the time.  Then I got up and walked a little more.  Then I started running again.  And then walked for a minute and then ran again.  The whole time I was mentally beating myself up a bit for being lousy.  Eventually Satchel, the dog, got tired of it and started running again.  I decided to let him take the lead and just ran behind him the whole way home.  Well, most of the way.  I walked another 20 yard stretch and then ran in front of him as we got closer to home.  Eventually I got home and checked the GPS for the run.  I had run 5.09 miles.  That is the farthest distance I have run since I started running again in December.  I ran it in 48 minutes and change.  Which isn't really that far off my pace.  Either I was running faster or greatly overestimated my walking periods.  Turns out I was beating myself up for nothing.  I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I guess I will just call it a thing and try to keep going.

Back to work in the ED tomorrow.

Here is that article again if you want to read it.  And an article by a friend using the same research.

My friend's article

You Are Not So Smart