He looked like someone I care about.

Not exactly alike, but enough.

His heart wasn't working very well tonight, not at all.  Not enough for consciousness when I met him...at least I hope.

He wasn't my patient.  They needed some help and I gave it.  I was the first to notice the heart rhythm change into something not compatible with life.  After the shock I jumped on for CPR.  I give excellent CPR.  No bragging, just a fact.  I take pride in that.  If you go down and I am around you will have a chance.  I was this man's heart, off and on, for two hours.  CPR is tiring.  But, when I did compressions, his heart would come back and gave us time to keep fighting, keep searching for a cause and a cure.  My new team mates commented on my 'life saving hands.'

All for naught.  We made sure he didn't die on Valentine's Day.

I hate the sounds people make when they realize their loved one is gone.  Screams, wails and choked sobs, they all suck.

But you have to shrug it off.  You have to move on.  Your other patients need warm blankets or pain meds or something.  So, you press on.  You let it go.  It's amazing, but you really do.

So forgive your nurse if they aren't always cheery.  If we seem like we don't care, it isn't because we don't want to.  Sometimes we just can't.

Houston

I have been struggling with the blog a little lately.  There doesn't seem like much of general interest that I want to put up.  This space has been built for adventure.  It's right there in the name. 

Not much adventurous here in Houston.  At least not the kind I want to report.  There are always idiot drivers, angry homeless people and the like, but that isn't up to the Adventure Nickel level of quality. 

I was told by someone I trust about these things that I should write more about nursing here, and I think that is a good idea.  It is relevant the the whole spirit of the blog. I have thought about writing some political thought because it interests me, but I don't know if this is a great forum for that.  It's my blog though, so I am not decided on that yet. 

I want to gripe about this RV park, perhaps my least favorite ever, and I probably will.  Seems in poor taste to not post in nearly a month though and come back with a great big old rant about something.  Besides, there will be plenty of time for that later.  It's not like they are going to stop sucking any time soon. 

There is a photo project that I am thinking about, but it is Houston, so it probably won't be flattering. 

If it makes anyone feel better out there, I have been writing, just not on the blog.  I did a write up of our stay in Santa Fe which I sold to Escapees magazine.  They said they are waiting until late summer or early fall to run it to coincide with the Albuquerque Balloon festival HOP.  So, that's cool.  I am in progress on a long thought of novel idea and I am awaiting the feedback from my two early readers of the Adventure Nickel book so I can get to a big rewrite before sending it off to my next wave of early readers.  So, it's not that I am not busy.  Just not much here on the blog or website lately. 

Sorry. 

Don't worry though.  Soon enough I will unleash a flood of posts so great that you will again be sick of hearing from me.