5/2/2013

OK, so I am going to cheat a bit.  Yesterday was busy, so I am posting today to talk about yesterday.  Today was just a day.

Yesterday however, was the King Neptune ceremony for crossing the equator.  So, I'll talk about that.

We actually crossed the equator for the first time on the way down obviously, but for some reason they wanted to hold the ceremony on the return trip.  I told them that the kids and I were pollywogs. They weren't interested in the kids and couldn't have any participants that weren't actually HAL employees for insurance reasons.  I get that now.  And the kids wouldn't have done well anyhow.  At least they got to watch me.

So, the only thing I know is to go to the Crow's Nest on deck 10 at 0930.  Being me, I show up a little early.  On the advice of one of my coworkers who apparently didn't know anything, I changed into my white shirt uniform.  When I arrived, they sent me back down to change.  So I changed into my work scrubs and white coat.  When I get back up there, the other pollywogs have largely arrived and they are all wearing shorts and bathing suits and such.  Once there, they wrapped a plastic chain around our wrists.  thusly lashed together, we were paraded around the ship and back to the aft pool area. 

Once at the pool, they led us to a large cargo net and had us sit underneath it while they threw buckets of ice water at us and the crowd boo'ed.  A funeral dirge played over the loudspeaker.  Sarah and the boys managed to find a seat even though many of the spectators had camped out since 6 am to be front of the line for the spectacle. 

 They took us out from under the nets in small groups and read a bunch of trumped up charges.  I was charged with replacing the motion sickness pills with viagra.  And I thought no one knew.  Then we were forced to kneel while they threw more water on us and the crowd was prompted to chant, "Kiss the fish".  Then the judge, who was totally corrupt I tell, ya, read the verdict.  They drug us over and made us kiss this huge fish before they lifted us up and threw us down onto plastic card tables. 

They drug me along, conveyor belt style, applying a thick layer of gooey, slimey, smelly, and yet oddly colorful, foodstuffs into ever cranny, crevice and earhole they could reach. 

Then they turned the corner and hit me with the rotton bananas. 

At this juncture of the rigged proceeding, the staff officers were asked if we should stink or sink.  If they said stink,  your group was made to sit at the side of the pool while all this goo dried and crusted over.  If they said sink, you were tossed into the pool to marinate in the now opaque and frothy water.  I got sink.  Pretty lucky actually.  Eventually, we were all tossed in.

Then it was a quick shower and back to work.  I was first call today.  Laura watched a very busy clinic so I could be a part of the fun.  I think I was grateful. 

Oh yeah, the fish.

That was one sexy fish.