Up late last night and I couldn't think. This is the result.
I think that most people tend to take the path of least resistance in their lives. Because of genetic disposition and environmental factors as well as parental upbringing, these paths are varied and as individual as we are. I believe that this is often called being true to yourself.
It doesn't always look this way to the individual concerned or to an outsider. Many people naturally are drawn to relentless activity or chaos. The echoes of actions of their ancestors combined with their personality type might mean they routinely feign illness, choose abusive partners or other lifestyle choices which are seen as anything but easy. I wonder if maybe it is easy. You see, it requires no analysis of who they are or who they want to be. They simply react in the way most natural to them.
There are many who would say this is a good thing. You are becoming true to yourself. You are developing into the best 'you' you can be. I believe there is a school of thought that states that when you are on your true path, the universe will help you and many things will be easier. If I recall, Joseph Campbell espoused that type of view and I have a tremendous amount of respect for him. I can see where this line of thinking could be true and you could find happiness there.
But...
But then I ask myself where is your free will in this scenario? If you are following the path of least resistance in your life aren't you simply expressing the thoughts, feelings and teachings of your forebears in the way most efficiently expressed by your genetic predisposition? If you feel no resistance and your life seems to just be passing you by maybe you should question why you are doing things that way. Perhaps we are conditioned to this easy passage, I don't see how we couldn't be. Every time you question too deeply or act in a way you decide rather than a way that is natural, you get resistance. It could come from those around you when you cease to behave in a way with which they agree or they are capable of understanding. It could come from you as you question your own identity. "Can I even do that?"
Interesting question, to me anyway. The next question is: "Does it really matter?"
That's what happens when Max wakes me up at 3am and I can't get back to sleep.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Being a man.
A few things have come together lately that got me thinking. This post is the result.
I am raising two boys. I am going to have to try to teach them about being a man. What does that even mean. I regularly frequent sites, blogs and lists about self defense topics and often the macho BS runs high. There seems to be a current running through this society that thinks having the ability to hurt someone and the willingness to do so makes one a man. I would disagree...kind of.
You see, I think that the essence of being a man is the willingness to do what no one else wants to. If that means digging a well knowing that you will still have to work afterword when you are sore and in pain, you do it. If that means cleaning the warm vomit out of the rug when your child is sick in the night, you do it. If that means letting your ego eat a poop sandwich because it is more important that you lose face than lose your job, you do it. You do it, you smile and you work hard so that maybe next time you won't have to.
We all have seen that movies, read the books and whatever other source of entertainment you would like to choose. They show the man stopping the bad guy. Killer Kung Fu, Master of the Sword or Mace, Gunslinger, these are the men set up as idols.
I have an idea as to what went wrong. In the older movies and many of the stories, this man was set up as the hero precisely because he was willing to go and do the dirty work. Because of the background of the audience living in harsher times, they knew that. The audience understood, and I think that it was somewhat more emphasized, that the hero was not assured of success. Maybe he was even scared. That is where being a man comes in. You are so scared you are about to pee on yourself. You know, going in, that this might change you forever and the odds are good that it won't be in a positive way and you do it anyway because it needs to be done.
Being such a badass that you aren't afraid doesn't make you a man. Hurting or killing things doesn't make you a man. Understanding that life is sometimes unpleasant and requires you to do some unpleasant things is a good start. Learning to deal with those unpleasant things is a step. Doing what needs to be done, not just what you want to do, that makes you a man.
Oh yeah, I work in the emergency room as a nurse, I am surrounded by woman who do this. It isn't just about being a man, it turns a girl into a woman too. It is not about being a man, it is about being an adult.
I am raising two boys. I am going to have to try to teach them about being a man. What does that even mean. I regularly frequent sites, blogs and lists about self defense topics and often the macho BS runs high. There seems to be a current running through this society that thinks having the ability to hurt someone and the willingness to do so makes one a man. I would disagree...kind of.
You see, I think that the essence of being a man is the willingness to do what no one else wants to. If that means digging a well knowing that you will still have to work afterword when you are sore and in pain, you do it. If that means cleaning the warm vomit out of the rug when your child is sick in the night, you do it. If that means letting your ego eat a poop sandwich because it is more important that you lose face than lose your job, you do it. You do it, you smile and you work hard so that maybe next time you won't have to.
We all have seen that movies, read the books and whatever other source of entertainment you would like to choose. They show the man stopping the bad guy. Killer Kung Fu, Master of the Sword or Mace, Gunslinger, these are the men set up as idols.
I have an idea as to what went wrong. In the older movies and many of the stories, this man was set up as the hero precisely because he was willing to go and do the dirty work. Because of the background of the audience living in harsher times, they knew that. The audience understood, and I think that it was somewhat more emphasized, that the hero was not assured of success. Maybe he was even scared. That is where being a man comes in. You are so scared you are about to pee on yourself. You know, going in, that this might change you forever and the odds are good that it won't be in a positive way and you do it anyway because it needs to be done.
Being such a badass that you aren't afraid doesn't make you a man. Hurting or killing things doesn't make you a man. Understanding that life is sometimes unpleasant and requires you to do some unpleasant things is a good start. Learning to deal with those unpleasant things is a step. Doing what needs to be done, not just what you want to do, that makes you a man.
Oh yeah, I work in the emergency room as a nurse, I am surrounded by woman who do this. It isn't just about being a man, it turns a girl into a woman too. It is not about being a man, it is about being an adult.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Dozer Days
Took the kids to Dozer Days. This is where a local business or group of businesses got together and set up an event at a local quarry. They set up bulldozers, excavators, backhoes, and other construction equipment and, with the regular operator on board, they let the kids up to ride and 'operate' the equipment. Great fun for kids and it looked like it raised a ton of money for local children's charities. I don't see why there aren't more of these in different places. Another check mark for cool things in this area. They are mounting up.
Friday, May 13, 2011
You meet the nicest people
In an RV.
One of our neighbors here turns out to be a really nice guy, then another, then another. Did I mention the really friendly and helpful people we met at Omega Farms outside of Houston. It seems that RV folks as a whole are really very friendly.
We went and explored more yesterday and then took today off. It was a good day for that. Beautiful. Sure, it was really nice outside and would have been a great day for more exploring. But, there was a couple with kids around Michael and Max age who was leaving soon and they all had a blast playing outside and exploring the park. I practiced some Kaju out in the field behind the house and Sarah got to spend some time hanging out in the sun reading her book. Of course, there were chores to be done, there always are, but they didn't seem onerous. They just seemed to fit into the flow of the day. It was nice, relaxing. THe adventures will have to wait another day. There are so many around here that I don't foresee us getting to 2/3 of what we want to do. I guess that might just give us a reason to visit again someday.
One of our neighbors here turns out to be a really nice guy, then another, then another. Did I mention the really friendly and helpful people we met at Omega Farms outside of Houston. It seems that RV folks as a whole are really very friendly.
We went and explored more yesterday and then took today off. It was a good day for that. Beautiful. Sure, it was really nice outside and would have been a great day for more exploring. But, there was a couple with kids around Michael and Max age who was leaving soon and they all had a blast playing outside and exploring the park. I practiced some Kaju out in the field behind the house and Sarah got to spend some time hanging out in the sun reading her book. Of course, there were chores to be done, there always are, but they didn't seem onerous. They just seemed to fit into the flow of the day. It was nice, relaxing. THe adventures will have to wait another day. There are so many around here that I don't foresee us getting to 2/3 of what we want to do. I guess that might just give us a reason to visit again someday.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Class time!
Had a wonderful treat this weekend. Got to go to a class with someone whose work I have admired for some time. I got some top-notch information that I can use in tense. fast moving situations that is also scalable and I can use it in day to day interactions. It is awesome when you get knowledge handed to you like that.
One of the goals of my travel nursing is to find some idea of 'emergency room'. Determine the fundamental skills, processes and ideas that are the same pretty much wherever you go in this society. Each emergency room does things a different way, but they all have a 'go to' person for IV starts when you just have to have one. A skilled difficult stick person is valuable wherever you go.
Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung have done this type of analysis for years on interpersonal conflict and have a tremendous insight into that subject. I got to attend Rory's class. The people he teaches are generally on the high end of interpersonal conflict, prison guards, security workers, cops and the like so the classes focus more in those areas. As someone who regularly deals with psychiatric patients in crisis and others who can be prone to violent behavior, this information is important to me as well. The beauty, the true profundity of what they teach and know is the scalability of it. They have isolated enough of the core of conflict that the same concept they present that will cause and all out bar brawl will be behind inter office squabbles, family arguments and on and on. This is information that everyone can use.
A good time and a good class that got my mind working. I love that.
If you are interested, if you don't know of Rory and Marc you can find more about them at these links.
www.nononsenseselfdefense.com
www.conflictcommunications.com
www.chirontraining.com
chirontraining.blogspot.com/
One of the goals of my travel nursing is to find some idea of 'emergency room'. Determine the fundamental skills, processes and ideas that are the same pretty much wherever you go in this society. Each emergency room does things a different way, but they all have a 'go to' person for IV starts when you just have to have one. A skilled difficult stick person is valuable wherever you go.
Rory Miller and Marc MacYoung have done this type of analysis for years on interpersonal conflict and have a tremendous insight into that subject. I got to attend Rory's class. The people he teaches are generally on the high end of interpersonal conflict, prison guards, security workers, cops and the like so the classes focus more in those areas. As someone who regularly deals with psychiatric patients in crisis and others who can be prone to violent behavior, this information is important to me as well. The beauty, the true profundity of what they teach and know is the scalability of it. They have isolated enough of the core of conflict that the same concept they present that will cause and all out bar brawl will be behind inter office squabbles, family arguments and on and on. This is information that everyone can use.
A good time and a good class that got my mind working. I love that.
If you are interested, if you don't know of Rory and Marc you can find more about them at these links.
www.nononsenseselfdefense.com
www.conflictcommunications.com
www.chirontraining.com
chirontraining.blogspot.com/
Monday, April 18, 2011
Waterfall hiking
We had a plan, we really did. We were going to drive down to the Gorge and Check out Multnomah falls. Then we were going to drive down to Hood river and follow it back to Mt. Hood. A leisurely drive around the mountain with an occasional stop for pictures then back home. I have to work tomorrow after all. That isn't what happened.
We started out OK. Got distracted and decided, on a the recommendation of a local, to get on scenic Hwy 30 which parallels I-84. Well, there was a sign for Vista House and we just had to go look at that. Turns out we had seen it coming in and wondered what the heck it was. Good to satisfy curiosity like that sometimes. We noticed, on the way up, a couple of waterfalls. The most impressive of these was one called Latourell Falls. Go ahead, look it up. Pretty cool huh. We got back on the road and started back toward Multnomah Falls and passed another one called Wahkeena Falls. Sarah and Michael got out since Max had fallen asleep. I stayed in the car with Max. Sarah came back and told me Michael thought it was amazing and I had to go look. She stayed with Max while I went. It was pretty cool. I noticed a bridge well up the falls and wondered aloud to Sarah how far it was. We found a sign and it said 0.2 miles. We also noticed a sign on the road pointing to a trail saying Multnomah was 0.5 miles to the West. OK...easy enough. I can carry Max 0.2 miles. We made it to the bridge and saw a sign saying Multnomah lodge with an arrow pointing up. We asked a nearby hiker how far it was and he said it was about a mile and a half. Sarah remembered reading an article that the bridge in front of the falls was 5 miles up a trail. We thought this might be a shortcut.
Turns out there may have been a shortcut called Perdition trail but it was closed. We asked another passing hiker how far it was to Multnomah from where we were and he said maybe a mile or two. Well, we were already a mile or two in and it made as much sense to go a mile more as it did to go a mile back so we kept climbing.
Turns out to have been about a 5.5 mile hike. I checked the map when we got home. We climbed about 1600 feet in elevation and then went back down. Hiked for over 3 hours. Did I mention that I carried Max on my shoulders most of the time since the trail edge was so steep and crumbly? Oh yeah, we didn't bring water, snacks, diapers or anything else with us because we were just going 0.2 miles up to the bridge. Guess what happened to us while we were up there? A snow shower? Ding ding ding!
It was pretty awesome hiking though. The tall forests, the rushing waters and then the stillness of the forest with the sunlight dripping through. Oh yeah, and the spectacular waterfalls.
A special mention is deserved here for Michael. He turned 5 last week. He did the while hike with us today with the exception of a 500-600 yard stretch at the top where I carried him on my shoulders. He did it without complaint and only an occasional, "When are we going to be there?" He smiled and kept right on going. Awesome.
We will hit Mt. Hood another day.
We started out OK. Got distracted and decided, on a the recommendation of a local, to get on scenic Hwy 30 which parallels I-84. Well, there was a sign for Vista House and we just had to go look at that. Turns out we had seen it coming in and wondered what the heck it was. Good to satisfy curiosity like that sometimes. We noticed, on the way up, a couple of waterfalls. The most impressive of these was one called Latourell Falls. Go ahead, look it up. Pretty cool huh. We got back on the road and started back toward Multnomah Falls and passed another one called Wahkeena Falls. Sarah and Michael got out since Max had fallen asleep. I stayed in the car with Max. Sarah came back and told me Michael thought it was amazing and I had to go look. She stayed with Max while I went. It was pretty cool. I noticed a bridge well up the falls and wondered aloud to Sarah how far it was. We found a sign and it said 0.2 miles. We also noticed a sign on the road pointing to a trail saying Multnomah was 0.5 miles to the West. OK...easy enough. I can carry Max 0.2 miles. We made it to the bridge and saw a sign saying Multnomah lodge with an arrow pointing up. We asked a nearby hiker how far it was and he said it was about a mile and a half. Sarah remembered reading an article that the bridge in front of the falls was 5 miles up a trail. We thought this might be a shortcut.
Turns out there may have been a shortcut called Perdition trail but it was closed. We asked another passing hiker how far it was to Multnomah from where we were and he said maybe a mile or two. Well, we were already a mile or two in and it made as much sense to go a mile more as it did to go a mile back so we kept climbing.
Turns out to have been about a 5.5 mile hike. I checked the map when we got home. We climbed about 1600 feet in elevation and then went back down. Hiked for over 3 hours. Did I mention that I carried Max on my shoulders most of the time since the trail edge was so steep and crumbly? Oh yeah, we didn't bring water, snacks, diapers or anything else with us because we were just going 0.2 miles up to the bridge. Guess what happened to us while we were up there? A snow shower? Ding ding ding!
It was pretty awesome hiking though. The tall forests, the rushing waters and then the stillness of the forest with the sunlight dripping through. Oh yeah, and the spectacular waterfalls.
A special mention is deserved here for Michael. He turned 5 last week. He did the while hike with us today with the exception of a 500-600 yard stretch at the top where I carried him on my shoulders. He did it without complaint and only an occasional, "When are we going to be there?" He smiled and kept right on going. Awesome.
We will hit Mt. Hood another day.
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